not suprised

i spun and did a live p.a. performance at a dance party yesterday night, 200+ people. IT WAS OF THE HOOK. keep in mind i havent even touched tables or a grove box for months, havent orginzed or bought new vynil, was tottaly unprepared of course booked at the last minute. basically i was in no shape to put on a show, i was scared, nervous, i get the worst case of stage fright i cant even do it somtimes. i get all choked up, shake like i have fing parkinsons deises i mean cant even set the needl down on the record, couldent feel the music wich is the worst part and feel like im gona puke. stage fright is worse then crashing even worse then withdrawl. 100s of people are watching u closley, watching u CHOKE. some times djs take things to help that help that, because it means so much to us we get all crazy emotinal. i litterally cry tears when i know i totally tore it up behind the decks. dj dylan did the first set, my bro who i introduced techno to, basically taught him all the basics he needed to know pursue this art. YES IT IS NOTHIN LESS THEN THE MOST ADVANCED ART TO EXIST. its way ahead of its time. i did what ever i could to guid dylan into the world of dj based elctronic dance music along with many others people too. i chose him out of a school of 900 kids brandon high school. the "freestyle bmx click" was the most unique, creative, diffrent and crazy group. willing to fucking try any thing or do any thin cuz they were hard core mother fuckers. i needed a partner, i needed a friend. now the party was featuring dj dylan, second up was dj chris ( a PROFESONAL dj) does it for i liveing dude! what a lucky mother f er, i f ing look up to that. i made my fasonably late entrince allways after midnight to atemt to put on a show i wasnt even the slites bit prepared 4. i had 6 or 7 records to spin! lolol thats ridick. i missed dylans first set but i heard it was amazing. i saw a bit of pro dj chris untill he had some tec probs with his mixer so i went on. i fucked up the first few mixes, i was just to rusty and nervouse. people still liked it though i was getting quite a few cheers. once i got warmed up i fing shreded it, the pro, dylan and everone on the dance floor was screeming and cheering me on. somtimes i tear it up so well and it sound so perfectly on beat the croud doesent even relise what im doing or the amount of talent it takes to make the sounds and build ups im creating. the rest of the night i studyed the pros moves. i closly watched and relised, i can do everything he can do and better when im in my prime. and he is a pro. ecsept scratch wich i am toally against. now dylan is a step or two ahead of me at this point cuz of all the practice hes been getting. he owned that party. i did a shitty set, i was not proud of it at all, it sucked in my opinion, but everyone else loved it. i had that dance floor owned for the short set i did. all this just tells me i gotta stop thinkin all crazy an giving up, cuz this shit is gonna make my life worth living.